|
Goodbye Lover (1998)
IMDB rating: 5.50
Plot: Ben and Sandra are hot and provocative lovers, but Sandra is unfortunately married to Ben’s younger brother Jake, and soon Jake will find out about Ben.
|
Directors:
Actors: Mulroney Dermot,McKinnon Ray,Rocco Alex,Johnson Don,Gregory Andre,Neville John,Cooney Kevin,Stewart Will,Thriller,Comedy,Crime,
Love him like a brother or like a lover?
When I was 14 I was separated from my family after abuse from my step-dad and put in a foster home. This had a pretty obvious effect on me, mainly that I was lonely, confused, angry and the usual stuff.. but I dealt with it and tried to get on with my life.
When I was 18 and had just left college, in the area I lived in where everybody knew each other, a 14 year old lad started to hang around with my group. He too was in a foster home.
We all had a laugh and he was kind of like the little cheeky one of the group, and I took him under my wing because I felt I could really relate to him and look out for him. We became really close like brothers and spent a lot of time just messing around, chatting about the world, and just being young I guess.
Six month flew by, he turned 15 i turned 19, and we kind of become like best mates, although I would say more like brothers because of the age gap and the fact he looked up to me. We spent a lot of time alone or with a couple of other mates, and he was even sneaking out at night.
Then his foster parents told him they’d had enough of him and he was moved away. In the moment I was so gutted I couldn’t even say goodbye to him, like I was kind of in denial he was going any where and yet I also felt sort of responsible for him like I should do something to stop them moving him away, but I couldn’t.
I was lost and really really missed him and kind of felt bad and embarrassed about that, and my life kind of went down hill. I went into self-destruct mode and got kicked out of my shared house, stole from work and got sacked and lost friends because I didn’t really care about any of it and needed to lash out.
I didn’t lose touch with him as such, we just didn’t see or speak to each other that much, but I thought about him every day right up until today.
He came to stay at my new place in January of this year for 3 weeks, and we had a really good time but no proper chats, because it was too hard to know what to say, except I did tell him I love him to bits and he said it back. We had one argument on the last night before he left in which we were both drunk and there were lots of people in there. I lost it and started throwing everything I could grab hold of (my own stuff) like my microwave and glasses. And it was all the stupid fact he took my drink out of my hands and started drinking it, and all that day I was thinking how I just want to tell him how much I care about him but I couldn’t, so instead for some reason I just flipped???!!
We haven’t spoken properly since and I’ve been reading on his Facebook that he’s in a bad way, like not eating and I know he’s taking drugs and stuff, and he also hangs around with like 40 year olds who get him into robbery and he’s only 18!
It kills me not seeing or speaking to him, I would do anything for the guy he really is like a little brother, yet its hard to explain who he is to people who don’t get that and understand its not gay. I can’t do anything and have lost my touch with him and its eating me up because i’m actually starting to question my own sexuality…… and i’ve just started seeing a psycotherapist; she says i’m getting depressed.
I think you rly love this guy it more than just a thing for you its obvious you need him in your life and that night you had that fight instead of flipping out you should have told him this and tried to work something out.
kay b | Nov 12, 2009
sounds like more of a brotherly-love type thing
Questionator | Nov 12, 2009
If you have no desire to have sex with this guy then I don’t think it’s gay. Sometimes you really do just become platonically very close to someone and, especially when they’re younger, you want to protect them and keep them safe from harm. Whatever your feelings for this guy, whether they’re platonic or sexual, I think the fact that you feel so strongly for him is really touching. You sound like a good friend.
I think seeing a therapist is a good idea too, if his downward spiral is upsetting you so much. You shouldn’t have to feel miserable alone.
Honey T. | Nov 12, 2009
Sounds really complicated and in between, if that makes sense.
You haven’t stated any sexual desires towards him, so I’ll assume off the bat it’s platonic. But if you’re questioning your sexuality is this because you’ve subconsciously become attracted but don’t want to admit it due to societal pressure? For what other reason have you started to question your sexuality?
Could be a complex brotherly-love-turned-sexual relationship – just be aware it’s not black and white for everyone. My advice is just accept things as they’ll provide the happiness you need. Ignore any taboos but don’t be careless. Love is love whether platonic or romantic, etc.
- | Nov 12, 2009
You’ve got a lot of anger inside for what happened to you, and now to him. ANd you feel powerless.
Keep going to a therapist- one who will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Try to stay in touch with your friend and don’t be afraid to express your feelings. It’s healthy.
Maybe you will be able to help him get an apt, or hsare an apt. You are both adults now. It would be a shame to lose such a strong friendship.
reme_1 | Nov 12, 2009
Its very honourable of you to care about someone else’s well being so much so it surpasses your own. There is nothing homosexual about it. Your a good person who is trying to look out for someone who is in the same situation you were in. The only problem is you wont be much good to him if your totally depressed and/or on a slippery road to crime and drugs and whatever else your state of mind can lead you to do. If you really want to help him and make sure he’s alright then straighten yourself out, get your head in order and pick up the phone and find out how he’s doing. Your the eldest so always keep your cool no matter how hot headed he gets and hammer him about sorting his life out. Make sure he goes to college and gets a good education. Make sure he looks after himself. Make damn sure that your always there when he needs you most.
Spieman | Nov 12, 2009
Firstly, im sorry you had to go through what you did, but i do think you love him like a brother. You havent mentioned any other family so i get the feeling you feel like he’s the only family you have and i think not seeing him breaks your heart because it makes you feel alone (and believe me, i know how painful that can be) However i do think your relationship with him could be heading for disaster – you seem very dependent on him and you think about him all the time, im guessing he probably is at home now missing and thinking about you, maybe he’s not eating and taking drugs as a cry for you to come and help him. either way it strikes me as a co dependent, obsessive relationship.
Theyres nothing wrong with questioning your sexuality – we ALL think about it at some point. But unless you want to kiss and have sex with this guy – i dont think you feel romantically about him.
I think you both need to sort yourselves out, i know your life has been tough but you can get past it and look to the future, i would advise you to keep seeing your therapist, go out with your friends and if your really worried about him then call him – ask if he’s okay. But your actually making YOURSELF ill by worrying and thinking about him.
I hope your both okay 
Ashley | Nov 12, 2009
First off, I want to say how sorry I am that this has happened to you. Try to patch things up because from what youve written, it seems that you two were inseperable. Tell your phsycotherapist about the sexuality troubles, and let me tell you there is nothing wrong with being gay. You need to talk to him. Hope this helps, Jack.
Jack | Nov 12, 2009
Ronald Lynch